A Mother’s Heart on the Loss of Her Son

Last weekend the unspeakable happened.  One of those things that when the news hits you, you wait to be waken up from a bad dream.  You wait for someone to tell you it’s not real.  A bad sucker punch in the gut. When I got the news about Jonathan Lindeman’s motorcycle accident, my heart sank.  A husband, son, brother and best friend.  A gentleman I barely knew, but he touched so many in my circle. This beautiful creation of God who was both wonderfully joyful and selflessly helping was taken from us way too soon.

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As I’ve watched the grief and sorrow unfold on social media by people in my circle touched by this tragedy, I can’t be anything but heart-broken.   I can’t help but think about the young wife who lost her soul mate and her only source of income.  I’m a wife. I can’t even imagine the pain in her soul. About the three small children who lost their father.  The milestones that family will grow through without their daddy.  A hole that can never be filled. The sisters and brothers who thought they had more time to spend together. The people who considered him friend or like a brother. For these people, my heart grieves.

God does not create tragedy.  He is a God of love.  Always.  When bad things happen, it’s never forced on us by a loving Father.  Instead, it’s a result of the broken and fallen world in which we live.  A tree, an apple and two decieved people.

However, when tradegy sucker punches us in the gut and when the unspeakable happens, He most definitely uses it.  He’s a Redeemer.  And He’s always more concerned with what He can do through us that what He can do for us.  In these sanctifying, difficult, heart wrenching moments, He is with us.  Always. The great Comforter.  Softly and tenderly holding us in His hands. Redeeming even the most unspeakable things.

This week, I have been asking the Lord to bring comfort to Jonathan’s loved ones.  For them to feel the loving hands of a Heavenly Father wrapped around them so tightly during this season of grief. Because I’ve been asking for comfort, I wasn’t the least bit surprised when I saw the word Jonathan’s mother posted on Facebook.   It is a beautiful word from a mother’s heart on our Father’s heart for us.  A beautiful conversation between a Father and daughter to minister comfort and peace.  I want to share this testimony with my reader’s.  I know there are others walking through similar tragedies who need to hear a mother’s heart on the loss of her son.

Listen to the words of a mother who lost her son in a sudden and unexpected motorcycle accident.  A mother who through her grief and sorrow, has found comfort and hope in the arms of her Heavenly Father and the Spirit of Truth.

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Adapted with permission from the testimony of Sherl Lindeman:

Monday morning after Jonathan’s passing everyone came over to the house.  All my kids and grandkids, except one had spent the night. The next morning, I could hear them talking.  The sound of intimacy and fellowship.  With the kids playing outside my bedroom, I laid there after what had been a sleepless night.  

I clung to one of Jonathan’s shirts. Pressing it to my face so I could smell his essence. So I could remember his touch and the feeling I felt as I would hug him so tightly when he would visit. Those arms I’ll never feel again.

In my prayer language, I cried out to the Lord, “I didn’t want Jonathan to die!!”

 He quickly responded through His Holy Spirit, “I didn’t want Jesus to die either.”

Then I told Him, “But this separation is hurting me so badly! I don’t know that I can bare it!”

He said, “My Beloved, my separation from Jesus did too.”

At that moment, revelation came over me. Instantly I understood.  I felt what God felt when Jesus died.  The anguish.  The deep burning sadness and emptiness.  

I felt his hands on me and His gentle whisper in my ear saying, “Daughter, I understand your anguish.”

In that moment His love washed over me.  

He is a God that loves and experiences what we do. After all He is our creator. He is LOVE. He draws us to him by that love for us.

Monday was 3 days, significantly impacting to me. I felt like I had been resurrected. A new understanding of my Father and what He goes through. For three days, I continued to ask the Lord to bring Him back. Just bring him home! But see, he is home. When we give our lives to Jesus we have hope.  It’s a promise that He is preparing a place for us. This is not our home. Jonathan’s life continues in the heavenly until we that know him will all join him there.

God did a work in my heart Monday morning.  One of my dear friends brought us food. When she arrived, we stood rejoicing about Jonathan’s life. She was broken and we loved on her. Letting her know well be ok. She left asking God why weren’t mad at God. The answer given was because Jonathan was not ours.  He belonged to Jesus.  He was given to us for a time, but the reality is that Jonathon belongs to God.  Now he truly is “home”.  This is my blessed assurance.

I deeply miss my son.  There will be rough days ahead. However, I will not dwell in sorrow.  If I do, I will be swallowed up with too many “what ifs” and regrets.  I know my son’s heart. My Son would not want us to pity him or remain sorrowful about his passing.  Instead, he would want us to rejoice about his life and the time we spent together.  He would want us to rejoice in the time we had and not dwell on the time we won’t.  He would want us to rejoice as he does now at the feet of Jesus in his final “home.”

He would want you to know Jesus has he did.  To understand why he walked in joy blessing so many around him.  He would want you to know you are loved by God, created for a purpose and that God desires to be known by you.  So please, if you’ve never encountered the Lord, please begin to seek Him out. If you need help, contact us through this blog.  We can’t wait to introduce you!

“Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.  I will be found by you,’” declares the Lord.   Jeremiah 29:11-14a

NOTES FROM THE WRITER:

  • Jonathan left behind his wife and three small children.  He provided their sole income. If you would like to financially bless the family Jonathan left behind, you can visit their Go Fund Me here.  It would be appreciated during this time of loss and transition.
  • Would you like to know Jesus and be known by Him? Contact me here if you would like more information on how you can find Jesus and know Him as we do.  We have people who want to share.

Stay in touch! Comment if this testimony blessed you.  Hit the follow button if you want to hear more encouraging words from Dacian Keaton Ministries.

(Testimony written by Sherl Lindeman; Edit by Dacian Keaton).

Copyright © 2019 Dacian Keaton Ministries.  All rights reserved.

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